Somethin' Must Be Seriously Wrong With The World

I know y'all ain't hatin...

Update-Sunday October 1, 2006- I'll be back Wednesday! I promise. Still working.



Least not like this guy. Hey, I might not be back yet (cash rules everything around me...and y'all niggas ain't sending no checks- A "Genius like mine isn't free" digression for ya, gratis. The irony is astounding, people!) but Star is...

Let the hate continue!

Also, if you got 3 minutes to kill peep the Colbert Report "Word" that I left for you in my absence. A Kofi Annan collabo, niggas!

I Know What Y'all Niggaz Asking Yourself...

He gonna ever [post]?


No...








Haha! Sike. But I ain't posting nothing meaty today. I'm busy. Dat's the way it is sometimes, homey. One minute, you chillin' like a villian, watchin' McMillian (and wife-a "TV Land digression for ya! HA!), the next, "BAM!" your slammed packed with loads of stuff and 24 hours a day seems like a joke. Sleep? What's this sleep you speak of? There's time for sleep when I'm dead! Ha!

Anyhow, I will check in on Wednesday. As for Lucky? Da hell you asking me for? Like I supervise the interns. Shit, I only hire them, how productive they are, I can't control that. I'm gonna get me an Asian intern next. They gotta be a step up. Keep slacking Luck, you'll find youself downsized, and your gig shipped to India.

Anyway, I caught Lost Season 2 on DVD recently, and I can only say, "wow!" I can't wait for season 3.

That's it. I'm hustlin.

[Son], The Archbishop, The Pope John Paul

of y'all niggaz
They way y'all all follow [Sonny]
[Son’s] a living legend and I'll tell you why
Everybody wanna be [Son] and [Son is] still alive

You who come ‘round here, have come to expect truth. At least I hope so. And where, in such rare instances, I cannot offer you truth, I try to leave the question open for your consideration. In fact, as aptly named as the Fell Clutch is, it could just as easily be titled “For Your Consideration.” So today, I have a couple of things for your consideration.

I have stated repeatedly (marketing rule number 4080, record companies are… um, I mean, tell what you are gonna tell ‘em, tell ‘em, and tell ‘em what you told ‘em. Sonny “Record companies are shady”Redd) that the idea here is to put forward thoughts that aren’t always considered. Imposing my opinion on you isn’t my goal. Folks pay me for that, and if I did that as a hobby, I’d be a sick sick man (in lieu of being a “Bad Bad Man” And this is “the Scenario Remix” digression. We have 4 MC’s, 4 that are in physical form, one that is in spiritual essence and he goes by the name of … Redd. Viper, do you have this joint, son?).

Well, since it has been so long since I tackled the tough stuff, there is a backlog, so let’s hit it.

First, the Pope is taking a lot of flak behind a recent speech he made wherein he supposedly called Islam evil. The pitiful reporters, in an effort to tell the “whole story” and give it some “razzle,” pointed out that he quoted a 14th century emperor, and that the statement wasn’t his.

Incensed that the Pope would call Islam an evil religion (and simultaneously ignoring the part about quoting someone else – how’s that for multitasking?), Muslims world wide responded in defense of their faith by…um…setting shit on fire and offing a couple of Nuns. Note to the Muslim community, in America we call that “irony.”



Now, before I set the record straight (you knew I was gonna), let me point out in my own self-serving way that I have it on good authority that the Pope is a reader of the Fell Clutch. I know, I’m shocked too. (Being an Episcopalian, I wonder if Queen Elizabeth is a reader too?)

How do I know, you ask? Well, aside from all those hits on my site meter from some country called “Vatican, The” wherever that is, he straight jacked one of my posts. Like, straight up, took that joint, added a few “Holy See’s” and shout outs to some cats in the Bible, and called it his own.

In the speech where he “called” Islam evil (but I didn’t say that, my Muslim friends-Sonny “I don’t need the heat from any of a'all Jihad-Jihad niggas, I know how y'all get down”Redd) he made the following statement about God (and who would know better? ME! That’s who! HA!):

This gives rise to two principles which are crucial for the issue we have raised. First, only the kind of certainty resulting from the interplay of mathematical and empirical elements can be considered scientific. Anything that would claim to be science must be measured against this criterion. Hence the human sciences, such as history, psychology, sociology and philosophy, attempt to conform themselves to this canon of scientificity. A second point, which is important for our reflections, is that by its very nature this method excludes the question of God…

Yes faithful readers, the Pope acknowledges what I have already told you, God transcends science. Moreover, it is also clear that he copped such a radical idea from right here. So listen up Your Holiness, we will call my contribution to your speech my tithe for the…I don’t know, let’s say year. So me and the big guy are settled up for the year, right? I can pass the plate to the sucker sitting next to me, knowing that we’re good.

Good.

Moving on to the point, so do you really want to know what the Pope said? Yeah, me too. To lay out the background, during the siege of Constantinople in the late 1300’s, the Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Paleologus sat with a Persian and discussed the differences between Christianity and Islam.

I was reminded of all this recently, when I read … of the dialogue carried on - perhaps in 1391 in the winter barracks near Ankara - by the erudite Byzantine emperor Manuel II Paleologus and an educated Persian on the subject of Christianity and Islam, and the truth of both. … The dialogue ranges widely over the structures of faith contained in the Bible and in the Qur’an, and deals especially with the image of God and of man, while necessarily returning repeatedly to the relationship between - as they were called - three “Laws” or “rules of life”: the Old Testament, the New Testament and the Qur’an. It is not my intention to discuss this question in the present lecture; here I would like to discuss only one point - itself rather marginal to the dialogue as a whole - which, in the context of the issue of “faith and reason”, I found interesting and which can serve as the starting-point for my reflections on this issue.

In the seventh conversation … the emperor touches on the theme of the holy war. The emperor must have known that surah 2, 256 reads: “There is no compulsion in religion”. According to the experts, this is one of the suras of the early period, when Mohammed was still powerless and under threat. But naturally the emperor also knew the instructions, developed later and recorded in the Qur’an, concerning holy war. Without descending to details, such as the difference in treatment accorded to those who have the “Book” and the “infidels”, he addresses his interlocutor with a startling brusqueness on the central question about the relationship between religion and violence in general, saying: “Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached”. The emperor, after having expressed himself so forcefully, goes on to explain in detail the reasons why spreading the faith through violence is something unreasonable. Violence is incompatible with the nature of God and the nature of the soul. “God”, he says, “is not pleased by blood - and not acting reasonably is contrary to God’s nature. Faith is born of the soul, not the body. Whoever would lead someone to faith needs the ability to speak well and to reason properly, without violence and threats… To convince a reasonable soul, one does not need a strong arm, or weapons of any kind, or any other means of threatening a person with death…”

Full Text

Just an aside to my Muslim friends, you guys need a new PR guy, cause whoever said that the proper response to a speech calling Islam violent is violence needs to be shot – or beheaded. I know y’all like that.

In other news, George Bush is struggling with the Geneva Convention, or at least the part saying that prisoners shouldn’t be treated inhumanely. Let me clarify something for George, first the Pope reads this blog, so you should too. Secondly, you calling the term “inhumane” vague (which is really his argument) is like Bill Clinton not knowing the definition of “is.” In short, that shit “is” so stupid as to be considered “inhumane”. Got it? Good.

That’s all for me. I’m out.

Let Me Tell You Dudes What I'll Do To Protect This

I shoot at you actors
Like movie directors {*ha ha*}
This ain't a movie dog

It’s Monday, bleh. Work is a bear. Bleh. And the Eagles AND the ‘Canes lost this weekend. Bleh-Bleh. The good news? Those Fightin’ Phillies! Yeah! Oh, and I’m back on schedule. Yeah! The week’s looking up!

So for those who don’t know, I am a film buff. And being a “buff” means that my movie watching isn’t just relegated to the classics -- Terminator 2 and The Empire Strikes Back – it also requires that I watch movies made before the Golden age of film-making of 1978-1992 (C’mon, you have Conan the Barbarian, Star Wars, Empire, Star Trek II , New Jack City, Goodfellas, Scarface, Wallstreet, Top Gun, JFK…all made during this time period! And this is an “unofficial Top Ten list” digression).

So, I Netflixed the worlds first feature length movie, “The Birth of a Nation.” I gotta tell you, as nutty as the “Black Power” crowd can be at times, one needn’t do much more than watch this movie to see where it comes from. But, then I am getting ahead of myself.

To fill the (bliss-fully) unaware of you in, Birth of a Nation is the crowning achievement of D.W. Griffith, a filmmaker who was making short movies at a rate of one a week. In 1915, when Birth was made, movies typically ran less than 20 minutes, with the longest running just 1 hour. Griffith’s movie eclipsed all that preceded it, running just over 3 hours. Griffith was also the first to employ camera close-ups and several other film innovations still used today. In short, it is a technical masterpiece.

But, it is also so socially appalling as to offend my conscience. And trust me true-believers, it takes ALOT to offend my conscience, such as it is. The movie tackles the defining American topic, race – in a way that only a film made in 1915 could.

SPOILER ALERT (FOR THOSE DIE HARDS THAT HATE TO HAVE MOVIES RUINED)

Birth of a Nation explores the Civil War, and concludes – in the opening moments of the film – that “The bringing of the African to America” would start the nation down a disastrous path. Essentially, it is the tale of two families, one quaint Southern gentry, and the other, progressive Northern liberals. Egged on by the well-intentioned but stupid abolitionists, a Northern politician pushes for freedom for the slaves. Southerners, who after all, have a “quaint” if not peculiar way of life become incensed when the Northerners seek to “reform” their way of life. After all, such refrains are restraints of their liberty, and lord knows, life isn’t worth living if man cannot be free.

After a few devious moves by clever, yet evil, mulattoes (the REAL enemy), the inevitable war takes place, with the noble Southerner falling to Northern aggression. And that’s only the first 90 minutes. Because now, we’ve got reconstruction.

Reconstruction dawns with the enslavement of the noble white southerner to his newly freed Negro. Negroes vote. Negroes serve in the state legislatures and a mulatto (the REAL enemy) becomes the Lt. Governor of South Carolina.

Then the worst thing happens – Negroes want to marry white women! Oh, the humanity!

Well, another 60 minutes (and one attempted rape of a white woman) later, the hero has had enough. Seeing that Negroes are afraid of ghosts, he fashions a white bed sheet and grabs a gun. He raises an army of fellow “Aryans” (the movie uses the term) and rides to the rescue of yet another white woman who is being forced to marry a *gasp!* mulatto.

Yada yada yada, a whole lotta Negroes flee (with ‘dem dere big eyes we’s have boss!) and the day is saved. The world is safe, and whiteness is restored. (You gotta love the scene on voting day when mounted clansmen stand between the freedmen and the polls. Makes voting in November downright pro-black! Sonny “Vote-or-die/the ballot or the bullet!”Redd.)

Bleh. I don’t know who is more universally hated, us or the Jews. I can’t really call it. Though it’s close.

Upon seeing Birth, then President Woodrow Wilson commented that “it’s all so terribly true.” Birth chronicled developments that the movie asserts changed the Nation from a confederation (pun-me? Never!) of independent states to a united nation. That (other than the latent inferiority of the Negro) is the message of the movie, and why its name was changed from “The Clansman” (the name of the book – yes book – it was adapted from) to “The Birth of a Nation.” Well, that and white supremacy. (Oh, yeah!)

But Birth is actually responsible for the emergence (or re-emergence) of the Klu Klux Klan, in 1915. In fact, at the height of its membership, the Klan boasted 4 million (mostly Republican) members. To put that figure in perspective, there were only 31 million men over 18 in the entire country at the time. Suffice it to say, this movie certainly impacted the country.

Ironically one thing is sure, whatever America is today, whatever she ever was, Black America was and is a part of that. We’ve been on her mind since the beginning, and even though the Mexicans get a lot of print these days, we’re still on her mind. Shit, it’s like America is Flava Flav, and we’re New York! It’s okay though, like New York, I love this place, even with its apparent unsexiness.

I encourage all of you to see this movie. I guarantee, you won’t be the same.

I Sell Ice In The Winter

I sell fire down in hell
I am a HUSTLER baby,
I'll sell water to a well

Hello! And a hearty “hey, hey, hey” to you all. First, I am sorry (Hostess) I am late. I had all sorts of things (that pay me) occupy my time and attention. Secondly, to my usual blog-land hangouts (Hostess), I’ll be around next week so tidy up (Hostess), or in other words get craka-lackin.

In the mean time, I'm off. Back to work. I'm hustlin' like a B-58, and not in the "blowing the back out of Vietnamese chicks" sort of way. Nope. I am toiling in the salt mine. But here's a preview of next Monday's post-

So for those who don’t know, I am a film buff. And being a “buff” means that my movie watching isn’t just relegated to the classics -- Terminator 2 and The Empire Strikes Back – it also requires that I watch movies made before the Golden age of film-making of 1978-1992 (C’mon, you have Conan the Barbarian, Star Wars, Empire, Star Trek II , New Jack City, Goodfellas, Scarface, Wallstreet, Top Gun, JFK…all made during this time period! And this is a “unofficial Top Ten list” digression).

So, I Netflixed the worlds first feature length movie, “The Birth of a Nation.” I gotta tell you...

See you on Monday!

We Remember

Today, there are no quotes from Jay-Z. Today there will be no digressions. Today there is no soapbox, and no rant. Today there will be no “SonnyRedd”, and no “Lucky.”

Today is not a day for the debate. The relative pros and cons of this or that course of action are immaterial and irrelevant. That is for tomorrow, and tomorrow’s tomorrow.

Today there is only remembrance.

We remember you, Steven Elliot Furman. We remember your dedication to God. We remember you as a father of four wonderful children. We remember you as husband to Chava. Today we remember you.

And although we never had the pleasure to meet you, we will never forget you.

We remember.

Your Dude Is Back,

The [Black Lex Luth-] is back
Tell the whole world that the truth is back
You ain't gotta argue about who can [jive]
Cause the proof is back,
just go through my [archive]

Friday September 8, 2006: It's after 4:00 pm and as you see, there is no Post by Lucky today. I know. He's so dissapointing. But there is a lively discussion of the phase "Peace through tyranny" and the merits of violence in children's programming in the comments. (as well as copious compliments directed at ME! ME! ME! HAHAHAHAHA! Sonny "flattery will get you everywhere"Redd)! Enjoy week 1 of the NFL season (E-A-G-L-E-S! Sonny"Guess who Chris Berman picked to go to Superbowl 41-The Swami's a believer" Redd)- Good luck, Diva-in-Demand, cause you're gonna need it this year -- and week 2 of the NCAA season (lookout FAMU! Miami doesn't lose twice! You're going down! Sonny"C-A-N-E-S!Canes!"Redd). Enjoy your weekend everyone. SR


Seriously, there’s some good stuff in those archives. You should check them out if you’re new round here. Anyway, “Honey, I’m home!” Didja miss me? I missed all of youse. I appreciate the birthday wishes. I really do!

I’ve got nothing for you today. Not cause there’s nothing to talk about – there’s always stuff – but I am not finished working on my post for today which will actually end up being my post for next Wednesday. Anyway, I am alive and well after a fine fine steak at Morton’s. I love that place. For all of you who think Ruth’s Chris is a good steakhouse, head on over to the Capital Grille or Morton’s- preferably Morton’s. That’s good eatin!

Oh, and I saw Transformers the Movie recently. If any of you have any children (but then again given my demographics, I should say “know anyone who has children.” Sonny “I endear myself to baby’s mommas like Cosby endeared himself to mothers who named their children ‘Aquanetta’”Redd. And for the uninitiated, it’s in the archives!) I simply implore you to show this movie to those children. It teaches all the lessons cartoons are supposed to teach; violence should be used for good, not evil; double crossers are bad; be friendly; ambition is good, unchecked ambition will get you killed; kick ass soundtracks can help you do amazing thing. I swear, fuck Sesame Street, my kids will be watching this and Rambo the Animated Series (yes the 80’s were a wonderful time to be a boy! Now they got ghey [not that there is anything wrong with that] ass cartoons like Sponge Bob.) on repeat.

Anyhow, I got works to do. I will ask a question of you though. What do you think of the following quote, “Peace Through Tyranny.” I was exposed to this quote when I was 9 or 10 years old, and it has always rung true to me. Let me know your thoughts. And 10 points to the first person to correctly identify where I, as a 9 year old boy, could have come across such a deep thought.