Thursday, April 12, 2007

Sisters Get Respect, Bitches Get What They Deserve

Sisters work hard, bitches work your nerves
Sisters hold you down, bitches hold you up
Sisters help you progress, bitches will slow you up
Sisters cook up a meal, play their role with the kids
Bitches in street with their nose in your biz
Sisters tell the truth, bitches tell lies
Sisters drive cars, bitches wanna ride
Sisters give-up the ass, bitches give-up the ass
Sisters do it slow, bitches do it fast


You know- there is something that needs to be said: Niggas is stupid. “And I don’t mean nigga in no disrespectful way. I mean as a generic term for black people.” (c) 2005 Riley Escobar.

We, and I use the collective “we” as in men and women who also happen to be niggas, fall for the okie doke Every.Fucking.Time. And my Grandmom (R.I.P) said, “Any nigga that falls for the okie doke every time is stupid.” Yet every time there is an okie doke – niggas in line to fall for it. Shit, maybe we are mentally inferior. Would explain much.

It all started with Michael Richards-aka Kramer- aka KKKramer (c) 2007 Illseed. Mike went off on a couple of niggas and then- when he was confronted on his shit – said that he was influenced by black people’s cavalier use of the word, oh, and hip-hop. So, what did Reverend Al’nem [ (c) Hostess Sometime in like 2006] do? Move to ban the use of the word nigga by niggas!

Then, last week, Don Imus called the Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team “nappy headed hoes.”(c) Don Imus 2007. He also mentioned that the game between Rutgers and Tennessee (a team of obviously prettier women) looked like “the Jiggaboos vs. the Wannabes” dance number in Do the Right Thing. Putting aside the fact that the dance number was in School Daze, it was a pretty funny comment in all honesty. Whatever. Folks became incensed and Imus got fired from MSNBC. ‘Cept Imus pulled a KKKramer on us. See, he blamed – albeit indirectly, because the direct approach didn’t work for KKKramer – hip-hop too.

His point of view was, “Well, rappers call bitches ‘hoes,’ so I figured it was okay, cause I didn’t mean hoes in no disrespectful way, but as a general term for ...um...nigga bitches.”

And we bought that bullshit hook-line-and sinker.

The insanity is that, in a weird way, by buying this line of bullshit, we effectively let the Imus’ of the world off of the hook.

To buy Imus’ “hip-hop made me do it” is like blaming niggas for Michael Richards calling niggas, "niggas." Wait, that is exactly what happened, isn't it?

It is illogical and impractical to allow someone the argument that "you can't be mad if I insult your family, because YOU insult your family." White-brown-yellow-red- and blue (smurfs?) people around the globe understand that I may say things about my brother/father/mother/and yes sister that no one else may. Period. Life is just unfair that way.

But somehow, when one of life's inequalities affects a white person (Don Imus, Michael Richards) all they need do is point out that it isn't fair. And all us stupid niggas act accordingly.

The rule was: The use of the terms ‘nigga’, ‘nappy’, ‘nappy nigga’, ‘nappy hoe’, ‘nigga hoe’, ‘nigga naps’, and any variation of thereof by a white person is a violation. Your usage of these terms could (should) result in an ass-whuppin. Just like our driving through certain communities did (does) routinely result in an ass-whuppin.

Life just ain’t fair sometimes.

(I like the rules. Hell, I’d only add that “Brother, Brotha, Sister and Sistah” should also get your ass kicked.)

So excuse me if I’ve no interest in altering the things that go on in MY house, because you aren’t allowed to insult me with them.

Next- Jennifer Hudson

Byron Crawford wrote an amazing piece over a XXLMAG.com that points out more of the subtle fuckery that niggas fall for.

Basically, his conclusion – which is correct – is that Jennifer Hudson is today’s Aunt Jemima.

Consider: When white America speaks highly of a bbw (big beautiful women (c) Porn sites that I don’t frequent.) she is almost ALWAYS a black woman. There are bbw's of all colors, races, and ethnicities- but the bbw poster girl is the black woman. Mo’Nique, Queen Latifah, Countess Vaughn and...much to my utter and complete dismay and disappointment, Raven Simone all come to mind.

Consider also: Because the white media is condescending toward bbw's and the very idea of them, it is then condesending to US as black people to be the focus – the very image --of this practice. If it is true that white media feeds white girls unhealthy stereotypes on body image, then by this practice they are similarly feeding US an equally unhealthy – if diametrically opposed – standard of body image. (Theoretical Tangent: If the image of black beauty that the black man is also fed by the media is the bbw, how does that effect him?)

A blogger by the name of Clay Cane posted the Vogue covers of the other black women who made it... take a look. Tell me where J-Hud fits in? White America loves a mammy.

There is this idea that black femininity is so utterly different from white femininity – and therefore mainstream femininity – that black women end up non-women in the eyes of mainstream society.

See – and right here is where I go and get intellectual, note the lack of profanities and the polysyllabic words – the black woman in the mainstream is a big, fat, take no prisoners, kind as she can be to white children-but will beat her cheating black man’s ass- type of girl. She will curse you out and break you down if you ‘disrespect’ her. She has sex hard and fast, and she is more masculine in her deeds, than the men of her race.

But she ain’t pretty. She can’t be pretty. Hell, she ain’t even a woman. She’s just a mammy.

I got nothing against Jennifer Hudson (besides the fact that, having seen Dreamgirls, I don’t know how she won an award for acting like a big fat black girl who can sing. She is – after all – a big fat black girl who can sing. You don’t get an award for playing yourself. And Beyonce – who only had 10 lines – could not have seriously expected a nomination for best actress for saying nothing, but this is all a new improved Sonny “I Invented the Digression” Redd digression (c) 2005 Sonnyredd. ) but she should not have made the cover of Vogue. Beauty comes in all shapes- sizes- and colors, but beauty is still beauty. Putting Jennifer Hudson on the cover is like putting that broad from Misery on the cover (Kathy Bates). I mean let’s not make cover girls out of girls who should cover up, either. Say what you want about J-Hud, she ain’t no Beyonce, Nia Long, Tyral Hicks, Naomi Campbell, *sigh* Raven Simone (minus 45-55 lbs) or Lauren Hill.

I mention these women because these women display an array of black beauty. They have different complexions, different hair, and different body type – but are all beautiful black women. So when the white mainstream press puts one of us on the cover of Vogue – at the behest of a nigga I might add – and she is not what anyone would call a classic beauty – I gotta remain skeptical.

And I can’t be surprised if someone else thinks all we got is “nappy headed hoes.”