What You Want Me To Do? I’m Sorry.

I’m back.

And boy have y’all missed me. It seems that the very blogosphere has – save for an interesting discussion of the merits of inter-racial dating over at the Afterparty – gone into a tailspin of nothingness. Too many of y’all who I read to see the utter turmoil you cause in your lives, have done and straightened yourselves out. While that’s good for you all, it sucks for me.

Alas, there is nothing I can do but stimulate your synapses with some more thought provoking shit. But first, I gotta take care of some admin-type shit.

Viper hit me up with two tasks. First he “tagged” me. Is he crazy? Me? Tagged. I’ve never done any such thing in my life. But, cause I’m feeling extremely generous (Jigga album coming out in a month and all), here goes:

Where the hell have I been and why haven’t I really posted in a while?
Hustlin’ takes time, and there are only 24 hours in a day.

What’s new in my life?
Hustlin’

What’s going on with Aumnigraph and Mekka West? I assume, copious amounts of hustlin.’

Will you ever see another article get posted?

Yep. This one.

That was “fun”. Let’s never speak of this again.

Viper also had a question about habeas corpus, and the law Bush signed which would restrict it. Habeas corpus is the right of people to have the federal court review their imprisonment. If the court finds no lawful reason for their imprisonment, it can order their release.

That said, Viper wondered if all the talk about the Military Commissions Act of 2006 that Bush repealed habeas corpus was really true. The short answer is, “sort of.”

The Military Commisions Act repeals federal court review of military court actions against ALIENS. (As an aside it also okays “water boarding” and makes the Geneva Conventions optional. Sonny“Halloween is for dispelling myths”Redd.) As a result, it does not suspend habeas corpus for the folks who really matter – Americans.

Finally, as a last point, it seems that man and Neanderthal man may have done the nasty. Actually, Neanderthal man and European man to be precise. According to an anthropologist from Washington University (in St. Louis – Sonny “Some schools are better than others”Redd):

To me, what happened is that the Neanderthals were [genetically] absorbed into and overwhelmed by modern humans coming into Europe from Africa, and they disappeared through this absorption...

I post this knowing full well how folks are going to use this to prove the black man’s superiority. Then the KKK will turn the tables on y’all and say that the Neanderthal man is the original man. Then half the black folks will claim to be 1/8th Neanderthal on they grandmomma’s side.

Read the whole article “Modern Humans, Neanderthals May Have Interbred.” I’m out.

Grand Opening...

Grand Closing.
Gotdamn the man Hov cracked the can open again!


I was doing the twice a week thing for the summer. And now I ain't. New shit on Mondays only. It be's like that sometimes. This is the last Wednesday post.

So first, let me just say that this hit the wire today. Little kids can't play tag any more. It aint even the first time this has happened. I'm gonna home school my kids, so they grow up to bully the pussies that the rest of the world is raising.

Secondly, let me let you in on a little secret- "escheat."

What is escheat, you ask? No, ot's not when you send sexy IM's to your buddy while your live-in other is sleep - that's e-cheat. (I kill me!)

Escheat is what happens when someone --oh say. like a company -- owes you money but can't find you. It escheats to the state, which means that the state will hold it for you. Some states hold it forever, others for a set number of years. Whatever. The point is, I found out that Maryland has been doing a bang-up job holding on to some of my cash. Bravo, Maryland. I'll take that now, thanks.

I tell you all this because I advise that you search for yourself. You just might be due a little (or, in my case - alot!) of something.

Search now.

Finally, my Philly heads will notice that Hov is sporting a nifty set of Baby Alpinas in the new video (above.) Going rate for a pair on ebay? $595.00 BIN. Yep. Need I say it? Philly -Stand up!

Give Me A Rush Like You Wouldn't Believe

My head's about to bust
Accelerating what drives me,
Hope I don't gotta [lose]
To see, see I can't lie to me
I know the price, know the risk, know the wrongs and the rights
Still my blood flows (Green black and silver), it's just my life

It has been a sports filled weekend for me. Hurricanes game on Saturday -- we won the game but managed to get eight players suspended "indefinately." As if we had an outside shot at the ACC title game (I wasn't going to even delude myself into believing that we'd actually win the fucking game. Sonny "I bleed green-silver-and black, but I cry orange and green" Redd) going into the game, we have zero shot now.

For those who have no clue what I am talking about, press play on the big picture above. For the women who stop by and think "I don't know anything about football", ladies--as violent as football is, folks generally don't get to use their helmets as clubs. Just doesn't happen. And refs generally wear black and white unis, so the guys in blue on the field...they were cops.

So, to compound my dashed hopes of an appearence in the ACC title game (I am an optimist!), the damned Saints beat my beloved Iggles! I's not happy. Then again, my city hasn't been flooded by the wrath of God lately, so I suppose a mercy win is allowable. But this Katrina shit is wearing thin.

But then again, that is why we watch sports, because as the verse above points out, it gives me a rush like you wouldn't believe. All who know me in the flesh know that. The rest of youse...well, I guess you're not that lucky. You may commence crying now.

Cause I already have.

And Now A Word From Our Sponser

Diva in Demand , being the "stand-up" gal that she is, has offered to you -- fair readers -- a wonderful piece on the greatness that is the Eagles, McNabb, Eagles Fans and yours truly. I can honestly say (in an unbiased manner) that this is her most insghtful written work ever. Seriously, respect to those who stay true to their words. (Double or Nothing on Christmas, Diva?) Enjoy! (Cause you know I am!)

I have to admit that as I sat on my couch yesterday watching the game and cheering for my Cowboys, I couldn't help thinking "Damn Philly has a lot of fans. Look at all those people in green. WAIT! There's one in blue. And he's wearing a TO jersey. Damn. Never mind." I was truly impressed with the support of the Eagles.

Side question: Did you know that Philly fans are so damn rowdy that there was extra security in the arena and around the city the entire day? Y'all are gully huh? (Yep. We are. Sonny"I gotta answer the lady's question"Redd.)

Anyway, I have to give respect when it's due....Donovan McNabb and the Eagles deserved to win yesterday. They played a hard game with heart and skill and forced the tempo of the game. A team known for blitzing, and rightfully so, pulled no punches when it came to the QB. The defensive line pounded through every time to keep the ball out of the air and out of the hands of Terry Glenn and TO. Philly also took advantage of Dallas' key mistakes and that can make or break a damn game. Don't believe me. That bastard Bledsoe threw the ball directly into the arms of young Lito Sheppard and that bastard returned the ball 102 yards for a touchdown in the final minutes of the game....making any victory by the Cowboys impossible. The Eagles capitalized on their strengths for a deserving win.

And definite big ups go McNabb. There is a man who knows how to land a ball and that's what he did yesterday. If he threw it to somebody......it was caught. They say he's the top passer in the NFL and I would be willing to put money on that fact right now. Congratulations to the Eagles.

As for Mr. Sonny Redd......a socio-philosophical mastermind. (you like that don't you). The man that penned great posts on the movie Birth of a Nation, the issue with Katrina, and this one regarding the war which is actually one of my favorites.

And who else in the land of blogging can create, define, and popularize their name as a term? Folks all over blogland have gotten "sonned" and if not, are using it in their daily vocabulary. A mind of creative genius, the ability to easily author and discuss a variety of social, political, and cultural topics, and the intelligence to stand out above the crowd........that's ole boy Sonny Redd.

Friend Or Foe Yo, State Your Biz

You [want to score]?
Ah , there it is
Me, I run the show,
Oh, and these kids
Don't like nobody coming ‘round here fuckin wit their [team] for shit




You enterprising though,
And [we] liked ‘ya
But fuck with the big dogs though
[We] gotta bite ‘ya,
Look, it’s out of [our] hands
and you getting [catches] ‘round here, its not in the plans
So hop yo ass [back on that van]
Head back to [Dallas]

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL?!?! We’re BACK! Yes indeed. We here at the Fell Clutch are preparing for pill poppin’ poppa, T-O[h my life is over!]’s return to the city of brotherly love and Santa-pelting.

You think its a coincidence that he started poppin extra pain pills 2 weeks before Philly? Nope. He knows. We all know. B.Dawk ain’t Ray Lewis. And Philly fans? Well, we’re the craziest!

(This all assumes of course that Bledsoe even passes him the ball, which is unlikely. T-O[verdose] is the Cow[girl]’s number 2 receiver. That makes T-O[verdose] Terry Glenn’s bitch. And that, ladies and gents, is irony.)

Oh, I can’t wait till Sunday!


Can you tell that I am proud to be a "Philadelphia Sports Fan"? It is an honor. One that you earn. It isn't about one team -- the Iggles, Phils, Sixers, or Flyers. No, its about the city. Hell, I went to see Smarty Jones run the triple crown cause he was a hometown horse. We are die hard. Just to let you know what it means to be an Eagles fan, this was taken from wikipedia:

Eagles fans' devotion to their team is reflected by ticket sales: games are invariably sold out, and the waiting list for season tickets numbers 60,000.[1] In June 2006, tickets for home games were sold out in a matter of minutes after opening phone and internet lines.[2] Despite finishing with a 6-10 record in the 2005-2006 season, the Eagles ranked second in the NFL in merchandise sales the following year.[2]
Eagles fans have become notorious in the NFL for their arguably unmatched enthusiasm, knowledge and team loyalty, and sometimes also for their bad behavior. Eagles' fans enthusiastically embrace hard-edged, dedicated play. But they have also turned quickly on teams perceived as lacking a sufficient commitment to winning.
The most infamous example was the "Santa Claus Incident," on December 15, 1968, at Franklin Field, in which angry fans, upset at the conclusion of yet another failed season under head coach Joe Kuharich (including first losing 11 games, then winning 2, which prevented the team from getting first pick in the next draft, O.J. Simpson), booed and threw snowballs at a man dressed as Santa Claus during the halftime show.[3]
Frank Olivo, a 19-year-old fan dressed as Santa Claus who had been drafted from the stands as an ad hoc replacement for the scheduled Christmas pageant, was the target of the crowd's anger.[3] As Olivo recounts, fans threw snowballs at him after he reached the end zone, shouting that he made a poor Santa. According to local news reporter Ray Didinger, Olivo was visibly intoxicated.[3] This led to more snowballs. Subsequently, a legend was born.
Other high-profile examples of fan misbehavior include:
• At a December 10, 1989 game dubbed "Bounty Bowl II" against the Dallas Cowboys, the city failed to clear the stadium following a snowstorm. Fans threw snowballs onto the field, pelting Cowboys players and coaching staff, NFL officials, and one another. Future Mayor of Philadelphia and current Pennsylvania Governor Edward Rendell got caught up in the fallout from that game when he admitted to a reporter that he had bet another fan $20 that he couldn't reach the field with a snowball. (It can be seen from the videotape that Dallas Cowboys' head coach Jimmy Johnson was, in fact, pelted in the head with a snowball. Unsurprisingly, Jimmy's hair withstood the blast, his trademark hairstyle intact.)[4] As a result, the team added security and banned beer sales for their last remaining home game of the regular season.[5]
• During a November 10, 1997 Monday Night Football game against the San Francisco 49ers, the Eagles fans, in a 24-12 loss, infuriated by a series of calls by the officials and poor play by the Eagles, engaged in a number of highly visible, large-scale brawls on national television. In the last quarter, one fan fired a flare gun across the stadium into empty seats in the 700 level. Other ignominious incidents that evening include a woman flashing from the luxury suites and a man operating a chainsaw in the parking lot. Shortly thereafter, the infamous Veterans Stadium courtroom was established.[6]
• A contingent of Eagles fans traveled to the 1999 NFL Draft in New York for the sole purpose of jeering the Eagles selecting anyone other than Heisman Trophy winning running back Ricky Williams. Local radio hosts had recruited the boorishly behaving crew to protest the selection, which turned out to be future Pro-Bowl quarterback Donovan McNabb. McNabb stayed composed during the incident, and the thirty or so fans who booed him were subsequently derided as the "Dirty Thirty," while the radio hosts in question were widely criticized for their roles as instigators. McNabb has since become one of Philadelphia's most beloved sports icons, and Williams has had numerous off-field problems and is currently out of the league.
• During a October 10, 1999 game against the division rival Dallas Cowboys, Cowboys wide receiver (and bete noire of Eagle fans) Michael Irvin was knocked unconscious when his head hit Philadelphia's hard turf-covered cement field after a catch. As Irvin lay prostrate and immobile on the turf, some Eagles fans cheered the injury. Irvin was ultimately diagnosed with a broken neck, and the injury ended his career. In that game, the Eagles rallied from a 10-0 deficit to earn their first victory of the season, 13-10. (Some fans who were there claim that it was not Irvin's injury but Deion Sanders's showboating during the injury timeout that they were booing.)[7]
Acts of violence by Eagles fans against fans of visiting teams, combined with ongoing difficulties with public drunkenness, prompted Philadelphia municipal judge Seamus McCaffrey and the Philadelphia Police Department to establish a small, in-stadium courtroom at the Vet in 1997. Additionally, plainclothes officers, dressed in the colors of the visiting team, were dispatched to sit in sections known as being dangerous to opposing fans, most such sections being located in the Vet's notorious "700 Level" upperdeck. By 1999, incidents of fan misbehavior had diminished to the point that the courtroom was no longer needed.

Knowing Philly fans like T-O[verdose] must, I think I would’ve taken the red pill too. I love this game.