Memo to Parents Re: The Name Game
I commented on Booker to a piece of information that suggests that black kids with ‘black’ names suffer from disparate treatment in school. I don’t doubt that this is the case, and as a result I offer the following Public Service Announcement.
There seems to be a storm cloud brewing about the naming of black children. We here at The Fell Clutch of Circumstance offer this short memorandum to parents to help guide them in choosing a name for their beloved children.
1. If an interviewer can't pronounce it from reading it atop a resume, the interviewer's calling Jack.
2. If you are sensitive to someone mispronouncing your name, don't saddle your children with the same difficulty.
3. Made-up names aren't 'cute' no matter what Rayneshia and 'nem tell you.
4. If your last name is Jones, Jackson, or Williams, Please don't create-a-name for the front.
5. Just because you name your daughter Tiffany, thinking it is a regular name, doesn't mean you should be cute by spelling it Typhani. Someone like me is going to pronounce it "Tie-fanny" and poor Tiff (or Typh) is going to get upset.
6. Mothers, if RaQuil Lamont Johnson wishes to have RaQuil Lamomt Johnson, Jr., you are stuck. However, should RaQuil suggest your daughter be named RaQuilla, RaQuilleeta, or the ever popular La'RaQuil, you must, for the sake of the child, put your foot down.
7. The feminine form of Michael is Michelle; not Mikellia. Stephen is Stephanie, not Stefiona.
8. Never, EVER, name your child after your favorite; song by Prince (Diamond S'Pearla), car (Lexus, Toyota, Honda. Exception, Portia is o.k. as long as you don't spell it Porche), or designer (La'Fendi).
9. Stripper names are to be avoided at all costs. Peaches, Exotique, and Diamond are all bad. Mothers, if you are unsure of what constitutes a stripper name please ask the Father. He knows.
We hope these rules will guide you in your future endeavors. Thank you.
This message brought to you by Bill Cosby. (not. But Bill know's I'm right.)
There seems to be a storm cloud brewing about the naming of black children. We here at The Fell Clutch of Circumstance offer this short memorandum to parents to help guide them in choosing a name for their beloved children.
1. If an interviewer can't pronounce it from reading it atop a resume, the interviewer's calling Jack.
2. If you are sensitive to someone mispronouncing your name, don't saddle your children with the same difficulty.
3. Made-up names aren't 'cute' no matter what Rayneshia and 'nem tell you.
4. If your last name is Jones, Jackson, or Williams, Please don't create-a-name for the front.
5. Just because you name your daughter Tiffany, thinking it is a regular name, doesn't mean you should be cute by spelling it Typhani. Someone like me is going to pronounce it "Tie-fanny" and poor Tiff (or Typh) is going to get upset.
6. Mothers, if RaQuil Lamont Johnson wishes to have RaQuil Lamomt Johnson, Jr., you are stuck. However, should RaQuil suggest your daughter be named RaQuilla, RaQuilleeta, or the ever popular La'RaQuil, you must, for the sake of the child, put your foot down.
7. The feminine form of Michael is Michelle; not Mikellia. Stephen is Stephanie, not Stefiona.
8. Never, EVER, name your child after your favorite; song by Prince (Diamond S'Pearla), car (Lexus, Toyota, Honda. Exception, Portia is o.k. as long as you don't spell it Porche), or designer (La'Fendi).
9. Stripper names are to be avoided at all costs. Peaches, Exotique, and Diamond are all bad. Mothers, if you are unsure of what constitutes a stripper name please ask the Father. He knows.
We hope these rules will guide you in your future endeavors. Thank you.
This message brought to you by Bill Cosby. (not. But Bill know's I'm right.)
posted by Sonnyredd at 11:59 AM
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