There's a new sheriff in town.
"Where then can any strength still be found within the German people? It is to be found, as always, in the great masses: THEIR ENERGY IS SLUMBERING AND IT ONLY AWAITS THE MAN WHO WILL SUMMON IT FROM ITS PRESENT SLUMBER AND WILL HURL IT INTO THE GREAT BATTLE FOR THE DESTINY OF THE GERMAN RACE." Adolph Hitler, Munich April 24, 1923
We have a new Pope. Yippee! I say ‘we’ in only the most tangential manner, what with me being a religious ‘mutt.’ I am half Baptist and half Episcopalian- Thus I will burn an incense while shaking a tambourine—“Be gone ye unclean spirits and Irishmen”—But, I digress.
The interesting thing about the new pope, Benedict XVI, is not his name; though it won’t be long till folks start calling him ‘Ex-vee-eye’; nor the fact that he looks like an Aryan Yoda; no, the interesting thing about Herr Pontiff is that he was a Nazi.
Herr Pontiff apparently was a member of the Hitler Youth, as well as an artilleryman in the German Army during ‘dub-dub-dub.’ (that’s W-W-2 for those not privy to my attempt to invent slang—Ever wonder how slang gets invented, anyway—digression #2).
Herr Pontiff. Un Fuhrer ot Church-stag. Ah screw it, I don’t speak German, hell, I barely know English. But I do wish to give Herr Pontiff a hearty “Hail Pontiff” hello. Welkomen.
Now the Vatican is mounting one hell (me, pun? Never.) of a public relations battle. Nobody wants to let the hundreds of millions of current and potential worshippers in Africa and Latin America think that the Church is run by an Aryan supremacist. And that’s cool. Trust me; I don’t think that the Swiss Guard will be changing into khaki uniforms with red arm bands anytime soon. Though it would be funny as hell to see.
The true comedy in this is that Herr Pontiff joined the Hitler Youth for a discount on school tuition. Shit, even I understand that. My cheap ass would join the KKK if it meant saving 15% or more on car insurance. I know about saving a buck. As reported by yahoo news Herr Pontiff said, “As soon as I left the seminary, I did not go straight into the Hitler Youth,”... “And that was difficult because in order to qualify for the reduction in schooling fees that I needed, you had to prove you had paid a visit to the Hitler Youth.”
Well, I hope he got that discount. He has said in interviews that he was enrolled in the Hitler Youth against his will. I can only imagine Herr Pontiff’s father saying, “Boy are you outta your mind?!! I’m not paying full price. Shit, you better ‘sieg heil’ with the rest of them mickyfickeys. I better see your ass goosesteppin' to flipping mars if you have to.” Shit, I know my Dad would have had me out there, first day of enrollment, checking to make sure he got that discount. “Yep, this is my number 2 son, I got 4. Make sure that y’all have this program when it’s time for number 3 and number 4 to go to school.”
Having a Nazi Pope isn’t all bad. Look at it this way; he might make sure communion runs on time.
Though, I suppose I shouldn’t throw stones. The head of my church is either the Queen of England or whichever slick suited pastor is heading the National Baptist Convention. I’ve got approximately zero shot at heaven.
Lesson learned today: Pope’n ain’t easy. (Yeah, I’m gonna copyright that thing.)
As a side note, the Hitler quote at the top was taken from hitler.org. Who knew there was such a thing. While the site proclaims that it exists purely as a scholarly endeavor to preserve Hitler for the sake of historical accuracy, I noted some typos, and even had to correct the above quoted passage. Makes me question them there 'scholars.'
We have a new Pope. Yippee! I say ‘we’ in only the most tangential manner, what with me being a religious ‘mutt.’ I am half Baptist and half Episcopalian- Thus I will burn an incense while shaking a tambourine—“Be gone ye unclean spirits and Irishmen”—But, I digress.
The interesting thing about the new pope, Benedict XVI, is not his name; though it won’t be long till folks start calling him ‘Ex-vee-eye’; nor the fact that he looks like an Aryan Yoda; no, the interesting thing about Herr Pontiff is that he was a Nazi.
Herr Pontiff apparently was a member of the Hitler Youth, as well as an artilleryman in the German Army during ‘dub-dub-dub.’ (that’s W-W-2 for those not privy to my attempt to invent slang—Ever wonder how slang gets invented, anyway—digression #2).
Herr Pontiff. Un Fuhrer ot Church-stag. Ah screw it, I don’t speak German, hell, I barely know English. But I do wish to give Herr Pontiff a hearty “Hail Pontiff” hello. Welkomen.
Now the Vatican is mounting one hell (me, pun? Never.) of a public relations battle. Nobody wants to let the hundreds of millions of current and potential worshippers in Africa and Latin America think that the Church is run by an Aryan supremacist. And that’s cool. Trust me; I don’t think that the Swiss Guard will be changing into khaki uniforms with red arm bands anytime soon. Though it would be funny as hell to see.
The true comedy in this is that Herr Pontiff joined the Hitler Youth for a discount on school tuition. Shit, even I understand that. My cheap ass would join the KKK if it meant saving 15% or more on car insurance. I know about saving a buck. As reported by yahoo news Herr Pontiff said, “As soon as I left the seminary, I did not go straight into the Hitler Youth,”... “And that was difficult because in order to qualify for the reduction in schooling fees that I needed, you had to prove you had paid a visit to the Hitler Youth.”
Well, I hope he got that discount. He has said in interviews that he was enrolled in the Hitler Youth against his will. I can only imagine Herr Pontiff’s father saying, “Boy are you outta your mind?!! I’m not paying full price. Shit, you better ‘sieg heil’ with the rest of them mickyfickeys. I better see your ass goosesteppin' to flipping mars if you have to.” Shit, I know my Dad would have had me out there, first day of enrollment, checking to make sure he got that discount. “Yep, this is my number 2 son, I got 4. Make sure that y’all have this program when it’s time for number 3 and number 4 to go to school.”
Having a Nazi Pope isn’t all bad. Look at it this way; he might make sure communion runs on time.
Though, I suppose I shouldn’t throw stones. The head of my church is either the Queen of England or whichever slick suited pastor is heading the National Baptist Convention. I’ve got approximately zero shot at heaven.
Lesson learned today: Pope’n ain’t easy. (Yeah, I’m gonna copyright that thing.)
As a side note, the Hitler quote at the top was taken from hitler.org. Who knew there was such a thing. While the site proclaims that it exists purely as a scholarly endeavor to preserve Hitler for the sake of historical accuracy, I noted some typos, and even had to correct the above quoted passage. Makes me question them there 'scholars.'
posted by Sonnyredd at 10:51 AM
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